dark_sinestra: (Default)
dark_sinestra ([personal profile] dark_sinestra) wrote2010-08-07 09:21 pm
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Writer's Block: Take a (second) chance on me

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Yes. I can think of two specific instances when I did with two separate people, both friends. In both cases, I discovered that cutting them out of my life the first time was the right decision, and I should not have given them the opportunity to weasel their ways back into my good graces. While I wouldn't say this has gotten me to the point where I'd never give a second chance to anyone, I can say that if you've gotten to the point where you feel somebody is a destructive enough influence that you need them out of your life, chances are they haven't changed enough to deserve coming back again. A scalpel is kinder than a saw.

[identity profile] only-human.livejournal.com 2010-08-08 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Very good point. I have been very lucky in that I've only experienced something similar to this once. My steady boyfriend in college had a drinking problem and it started to affect all areas of his life. I broke up with him and then let him come back. I didn't work the second time, either.

I don't regret letting him back, so it's really no big deal now. Especially after he got professional help and went on to get his law degree and now has a very loyal clientele in a prestigious law firm.

I'm very proud of him and I'm glad things worked out for the best.

[identity profile] dark-sinestra.livejournal.com 2010-08-08 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, with substance abuse, I can see it. My Dad turned his life around in his early 40's after being an active alcoholic all of his adult and some of his teen life. But when it's an ingrained aspect of their personalities that caused the breach to begin with...I dunno. It has just never worked for me. I can't even say I regret giving the chance, because it was more about how I felt about myself and wanting to try to be forgiving than expectations on either of them. It just turned out to be the wrong thing to do in those cases.