Deconstruction--Part I

[dark_sinestra]

Author Notes: This story spans Improbable Cause and The Die Is Cast. It works better as a stand-alone than some of the recent previous ones but still makes the most sense when read in continuity with the rest. At some time during the middle of the story, chronology isn't exact. I made the creative decision to break apart a long conversation between Julian and Sisko for the sake of pacing, but it shouldn't be assumed the conversation lasts the full two hours it takes for Odo and Garak to reach Cardassian space or that any part of it has been skipped during that time. You get to see the whole thing.

Summary: A mysterious assassin visits Deep Space Nine with a mission to eliminate Elim Garak. As details unfold, Odo discovers that things are not what they seem. While he and Garak travel to Cardassian space to find the answer to the mystery, Julian works to secure Garak more rights in their relationship. The theater shifts to the Gamma Quadrant, a doomed mission and a successful rescue party, but not all dangers come from without. Can the relationship survive the subsequent stress, or will it fall apart at the seams?

Author: Dark Sinestra

Date Written: January 2010

Category: Slash

Rating: NC-17 for strong adult situations, violence, disturbing non-con elements, and mild adult language.

Disclaimer: I only wish that I had written such excellent episodes or invented such compelling characters, but alas they aren't mine, which is probably a very good reason I don't get paid for writing these things. A bit of dialogue comes from each episode, but I worked to keep it to a minimum.

Word Count: 18,776

 

Garak

The Promenade

 

Garak hummed cheerfully to himself as he walked to work. Although business was still slow thanks to the Dominion threat that overshadowed everything these days, he couldn't complain. Things between him and Julian had never been better, the two of them closer due to the doctor's recent ordeal with the Lethean. He still hadn't spoken his true heart to the man; however, he had made some efforts to show him that he meant more to him than anyone else in his life.

 

He passed a Flaxian carrying a small case. The alien made eye contact with him, and he found himself inexplicably on guard. He showed nothing of his suspicion as he finished his walk to his shop, never looking back or changing his pace. It might be nothing, or it might be something more than that. One thing he never did was to ignore his instincts. He turned on the lights, changed around a few displays, and stepped behind his counter. A prompt flashed on his computer. Decrypting it, he read, Watch your back. Can't say more. You won't hear from me again. Sighing to himself, he said softly, “And things were going so well.” There was no time for regrets. If he wanted to survive the next day or so, he had a lot of work to do and a very short amount of time in which to do it.

 

Julian

Private Quarters

 

Julian carefully read over the documentation sent to him by his attorney, making certain he understood the finest minutiae. He didn't want to mess this up or find himself having to revisit the issue down the line because he overlooked some simple detail. Besides, he knew that Commander Sisko would grill him hard as soon as he approached him with his idea. He had to have a good grasp of the legal ramifications or run the risk of coming across as impulsive and childish. It had been so difficult keeping his plans from Garak. He hoped that he would accept his offer, for it wasn't one he intended to make lightly.

 

Satisfied that things were in order, he left his quarters for work. He had a busy day ahead of him. Rigellian Flu was making the rounds. Over half of his staff were out with it. He uncharitably wished that Nurse Decla was, too, but it seemed that she was too bitter a pill even for an alien flu. He didn't think he had ever seen the woman so much as sneeze.

 

The morning flew by more quickly than he expected, one advantage of being busy. To his irritation, Garak was late for their usual lunch date. He never spoke of it, but it annoyed him at times how little regard the tailor paid to his schedule. He seemed to expect Julian to adapt to his instead. This included their readings of literature. As he recalled, they would be revisiting Julius Caesar. He knew better than to hope that the irascible Cardassian's opinion of the play had changed over time. He could be extraordinarily stubborn and arrogant when it came to comparisons of Terran and Cardassian literature.

 

“I'm sorry I'm late,” Garak said, strolling up at a leisurely pace. “At least the line isn't long.”

 

“No, of course it's not, because most people have already ordered their food for lunch time and are in the process of eating it,” Julian said irritably.

 

“Have I ever told you that you are most unpleasant when you're hungry?” the tailor asked, blinking at him innocently.

 

“You're not exactly easy to bear when you are, either,” he said, folding his arms. Of course Garak stepped in front of him at the replicator to order first. He often did such things. Julian wondered how much of it was cultural and how much of it was contrariness.

 

They sat at their table, and he began to eat quickly. He was famished, couldn't afford to take a long lunch, and had no desire to savor the very mediocre food. Garak groused at him about how quickly he ate and of course about the play. He felt his irritation notch up a degree higher. It would do no good to reveal it. Too often the man delighted in it, and once he realized he was under the doctor's skin, he dug in like a persistent tick. He found himself wondering what had gotten into Garak. He was more annoying than usual, and there was something of a slight edge to it that he simply couldn't place. As though he's never testy simply because he can be, he thought wryly.

 

His patience ran out more quickly than it usually did. He thought perhaps he might be coming down with the flu. Although he felt fine physically, often his moods were the first things affected by a bout of a bug. Garak was barely halfway through his food. He felt somewhat guilty about leaving him like that, yet work wouldn't wait. The two stood and headed from the Replimat together. Major Kira caught his attention, and he waved the Cardassian ahead of him with the promise of catching up to him later.

 

Garak

The Promenade

 

As he left Julian, he reflected a bit sadly that perhaps he disguised his motives and emotions too well. His lover didn't seem to have noticed anything amiss during lunch. He privately thought he was being particularly inane, downright babbling. Maybe the doctor was too distracted with his work. He had seemed frazzled.

 

He strolled casually toward the shop doors. It wouldn't do to hesitate or flinch. He could never be sure when Odo was watching or who else might be. He hoped that he had rigged the explosive device properly. Otherwise, he was in for more than ringing ears and superficial injuries. No sooner had he crossed the threshold than he was blinded by a hot, white flash, deafened by a roaring boom, and knocked senseless from the concussive blast, landing over two meters from where he had been standing.

 

Julian

The Promenade

 

He didn't feel as though he had time for Kira's dilemma. If the woman would just pick up a PADD and read sometimes, she ought to be able to figure out some of the things she asked him herself. He was no expert on Yalosians, any more than she was. He simply bothered to do a little research. He carefully hid his irritation. She could spark like dry tinder at just a hint of disrespect.

 

Quite suddenly, his mind was derailed from its thought train by a loud, violent explosion on the Promenade below him. He and Kira exchanged glances and darted down the stairs into the smoke and the fray. Aliens fled the scene, forcing him to fight his way through them. As soon as he saw the source of the explosion, Garak's shop, he began scanning for the Cardassian, spotting him lying on the floor well outside the blast site being treated by one of the nurses.

 

He rushed over and looked into dazed blue eyes, taking in all of his injuries at a glance. Thank every power in which he didn't believe, Garak seemed to be all right. He got him speaking to him and got him on his feet. It looked like he took a nasty knock to the temple and had a few cuts and lacerations on his face, neck, and hands. “Let's get you to the infirmary,” he said, supporting him with an arm at his waist. “What happened to you? Do you remember?”

 

“Doctor,” Garak said, “at this point, you probably know more than I do.”

 

He somehow doubted that, but he held his tongue, feeling a little guilty about how irritated he had been at lunch. Maybe there had been more to the behavior than he thought. Was it possible Garak saw something like this coming? Who would want him dead right now, and why? He mulled the questions as he began treating the worst of the injuries first. A few minutes later, they were joined by Commander Sisko, Odo, and two security officers. To his horror, instead of opening up and being helpful, Garak launched into one of the worst episodes of prevarication he had ever seen from the man. He was positively aghast at the things coming from his lover's mouth. Exiled for tax evasion? He tried his hardest to catch his attention and glare him into submission, but the Cardassian was having none of it. Worst of all, he tried to continue his ruse after the two left.

 

Julian sighed. He thought they had made more progress than this. It seemed that as soon as Garak felt threatened, he retreated into some of his very worst habits, and nothing, not even the person who loved him most on the station, could get through to him. He was glad that Odo decided to assign some security guards to keep him safe. How effective could they be if Garak would give no hint as to what was going on or who wanted him dead, though? Maybe he'd be more willing to talk about it in private that night. He hoped so.

 

Garak

Julian's Private Quarters

 

Garak listened silently while Julian berated him. “I can't believe that after everything that has happened today, you wouldn't cooperate with Odo once he finally had a suspect! The man was trying to help you. How can he do that if you won't help yourself? You know, I really should have insisted that you just stay alone in your quarters tonight since you managed to make him angry enough to cancel your security detail. If you're going to insist on going through your life not trusting anyone, apparently including me, how can you expect any of us to be of any help to you at all?”

 

“My dear, if I went through my life expecting help, I never would've lived as long as I have,” he said reasonably. “Would you please stop pacing? You're going to give me a headache with all that frenetic movement and gesticulation. I get that you're upset. I don't need the demonstration.”

 

The doctor stopped in mid stride, frowning. “Well, I'm glad at least one of us can be so casual about this. You don't get it, do you? Do you have any idea how frightening it was to see smoke and flames billowing out of your shop and you lying on the ground like that? You're damned lucky you're not dead!”

 

“I was never worried. I have an excellent physician,” he said lightly. He knew that he was infuriating his lover. There was just no way he intended to show him how truly frightened he was. It would help nothing, only ensure that both of them were nervous wrecks.

 

Julian tightened his jaw. “Stop trying to turn this into some sort of joke, Garak,” he snapped. “There's nothing remotely amusing about anything that happened today or your cavalier attitude.”

 

“I assure you I find nothing funny about this situation,” he said more gravely. “It has confirmed a suspicion I've had for some time, however.” He walked slowly over to the star port and gazed outward. Someone out there wanted him dead, several someones, but whose hand was pulling the Flaxian's strings?

 

“What's that?” Julian asked warily.

 

“Any tolerance or goodwill most have for me on this station is more an illusion to make you happy than genuine,” he replied.

 

“That's not fair,” the doctor said heatedly. “I love you, and even I was ready to wring your neck in the infirmary and at Quark's later. Your behavior has been nothing short of outrageous! The Commander and the Constable want to help you.”

 

“No,” he said more sharply than he intended, turning to pin the doctor with bright, focused intensity. “They do not want to help me, Julian. They want to make sure this station is safe, and they consider me, a victim of this crime, more suspect than the Flaxian Odo took into custody. If you can't see that, you're either being intentionally blind, or you're not nearly as intelligent as I thought you were.” He saw hurt flash in the warm, brown eyes. It was just as well. If he stayed here tonight, he could expose Julian to the same danger he faced. It was time to leave. He turned to head toward the door.

 

Julian quickly moved to intercept him, both hands to his shoulders. “Where do you think you're going?”

 

“Back to my quarters,” he snapped. “You said yourself that you regretted inviting me back here for the night.”

 

He sighed. “Garak, I didn't mean it. I'm just frustrated with you and worried sick about your safety. Please, don't leave.”

 

“Your concern is appreciated but unnecessary,” he said with cold dignity. “I've kept my own skin intact for over fifty years. I don't need a Starfleet Lieutenant standing between me and whatever is waiting for me out there.” He firmly removed the hands from his shoulders and stepped out the door without looking back. He didn't want to see the hurt confusion that he knew he had put in the man's gaze.

 

He cautiously returned to his quarters and gave the rooms a very thorough search before settling in a bit. From the manifests Odo had shown him, he knew the Flaxian was scheduled to depart the next day. He also knew that Odo was too stubborn and dogged to let this go. He packed himself a light bag and set it near the door. When Odo went to track the would-be assassin, he planned to go along for the ride. He was just as curious about who was behind this as the rest of them.

 

He allowed himself a few hours of sleep and then stealthily made his way through the station toward the runabout pad. He felt bad about not telling Julian what he intended. He simply couldn't trust him not to go to one of the others about it out of some misguided sense of concern. This wasn't the first assassination attempt he had survived in his life. The dear young man had no way of knowing his true capabilities, and he hoped for the sake of their relationship that he never had occasion to find out. He easily cracked the entry code for the small craft and settled himself comfortably inside. If he knew Odo, the Constable wouldn't be much longer in arriving.

 

Julian

Ops

 

“Wait a minute. He did what?” Julian whispered the question to Kira.

 

She frowned. “He sneaked himself onto the Rio Grande so that he could go with Odo to track the Flaxian,” she said. “As soon as the Flaxian engaged his warp drive, the entire ship exploded. That's what they're all talking about in the wardroom now.”

 

He frowned, too. This was getting stranger by the moment. As he thought back to their argument the night before, he wondered if the provocation hadn't been completely deliberate on Garak's part. He wouldn't put it past him, some misguided attempt to keep him safe and out of the line of fire. Why did it seem that every time he and Garak managed to make real progress in their relationship, something happened to disrupt the growing connection? Whether Garak's motives were strictly self-preservation or less selfish, it amounted to the same thing, shutting him out and handling things in a way that just made things worse with his superiors and the Bajoran government.

 

He hoped for answers when the meeting ended, but not even Miles would tell him anything. Did they think that because he loved Garak he would compromise his job? He left Ops angry and out of sorts. He half expected that Garak wouldn't meet him for lunch, but he spotted the man waiting for him at their usual table. Instead of going for food, he sat down immediately, arms folded, and glared daggers. “I suppose you have no intention of telling me anything, either.”

 

“Who is withholding information from you, dear?” Garak asked mildly, taking the chair opposite.

 

“Everyone! They're acting like I'm a security risk. I can't tell if they're afraid I'll tell you something I'm not supposed to or if they don't want to worry me. Either way, I've had it with being treated like a child. Major Kira is younger than I am. Nobody coddles her or condescends to her, and as for you, I am done with being kept in the dark. Do you understand? From the moment we got involved, I've known there were risks. It's my right to decide if I want to take them or not. Keeping secrets from me doesn't protect me, Elim. It makes the situation more dangerous, because I don't even know what it is I should be watching for!”

 

Garak sighed. “I suppose you have a point there. The explosion of the Flaxian's ship was caused by a forced neutrino inversion,” he said. At Julian's blank look, he added, “According to Odo, it's a common method the Romulans use to trigger a bomb.”

 

“The Romulans?” the man frowned. “Why would the Romulans want you dead?”

 

“That's a very good question,” the tailor responded with a distant, musing look.

 

Julian studied him closely. “You truly don't know, do you? This isn't more of your game playing.” He tentatively reached across the table and settled his hand atop Garak's, giving a soft squeeze.

 

Garak's features tightened slightly. “I haven't been playing games,” he hissed. “I take attempts on my life very seriously, Doctor, and I resent that implication.” He withdrew his hand and tucked it into his lap. “You sound just like Commander Sisko.”

 

At first it hurt to hear that, until he remembered it was a common tactic the tailor used when he felt vulnerable. “I'm going to take that as a compliment,” he said carefully, “because like the Commander, I am concerned with your safety. If we're frustrated with you, it's because we're worried about you, not because we look down on you or your ways. Can't you see that?”

 

Relenting slightly, Garak patted his hand. “You're a good man,” he said. “As neither of us seems to have an appetite today, why don't you get back to work? I need to go assess the damage to my shop and see what I'm going to need to do to clean it up.”

 

“All right,” he said reluctantly. “If you need anything, let me know. I'm not far away.”

 

“I'll do that, my dear,” Garak said with a slight smile.

 

He watched him walk away with a feeling of foreboding. He didn't have to be an expert on Romulan culture to know that when they wanted someone dead, it was rare for them not to get their way in the end. What could Garak have possibly done to earn such enmity? How much did he really know him if it came down to it? Was it possible their entire relationship was just another role? No, he thought, refusing to accept that. Garak had given too much evidence that he genuinely cared for him to doubt that. Despite their difficulties, he made the decision to trust at least that.

 

Garak

Security Office

 

After two days of quiet since the bombing, Garak could hardly believe his eyes, scanning down a Cardassian PADD obtained by Odo during a clandestine visit to one of his contacts from the Union. He felt like a Terran child on that odd holiday some of them liked to celebrate who had been given everything he asked for and then some. There was no love lost between him and the five who met their fates on the same day he had been slated to meet his own. His inward chortling threatened to burst out, and his mood wasn't even suppressed by Odo's barbed questioning.

 

Oh, he had known that sooner or later the changeling would discover the truth, that he blew his own shop up to get him involved. Desperate times called for desperate measures, as the saying went. He hadn't expected such rich results from his costly manipulation. Unfortunately, the common denominator among the six of them was his own father. That thought was enough to take some of the wind out of his sails. If they had been targeted, it was likely Tain had, as well. “May I use your communication system?” he asked Odo suddenly.

 

Since the security chief was long past accepting his ruse that he was a simple tailor, he took the opportunity to show off a little of what he knew about encrypting communications across subspace. It had been such a very long time that he had been able simply to be himself. It felt good to drop the amiability and playful verbiage and get down to business. He didn't expect to see his mother's face instead of his father's come up on screen. She looked so much older than when last he had seen her. He could tell by the worry in her eyes and voice that something was wrong before she told him that Tain had departed quickly the day before.

 

There was no question of what he'd do when she asked him to help. He may have been angry with his father, may have felt every bit as hurt and betrayed as Tain claimed to be, but the man was still his father. Despite everything he had done to him, Garak still loved him. He only hoped that he wouldn't be too late. “I'll need a runabout, Constable,” he said, turning to face the changeling.

 

Odo studied him for several moments. “We'll need a runabout,” he corrected him. “I'm coming with you.”

 

He didn't know whether to be touched or irritated. In truth, he felt a bit of both. Nodding, he turned to go. “I need to pack. I'll meet you at the Rio Grande shortly.”

 

Julian

Commander Sisko's Office

 

He could hardly believe that Garak had left the station. They hadn't even had time for much of a proper good-bye. He read urgency in every line of his lover's face, knew better than to question him closely or delay him. Despite the last minute attempted humor, he didn't feel good about what was happening, and he didn't believe for one moment that Garak did, either. It was very small comfort to know that Odo was along for the ride. He didn't completely trust the security chief to look out for Garak's best interests if he was given a reason to believe Garak was up to something.

 

The Cardassian hadn't made his current task any easier. Sisko was less inclined than usual to be charitable or tolerant when it came to the tailor. He could tell by the man's no-nonsense expression that he wouldn't give him much leeway in the upcoming discussion. Sighing to himself, he offered the PADD across Sisko's desk. “I appreciate your agreeing to see me at short notice,” he said, waiting to take his seat until the Commander did so. “I've been wanting to do this for some time now, but I didn't want Garak to know, at least not yet. With him gone from the station, it seemed like a good opportunity.”

 

The Commander held a hand up to quiet him as he gave his full attention to the PADD. Julian tried to sit quietly without fidgeting, feeling like nothing more than an errant school boy seated before his headmaster and wondering if he were about to be assigned to detention. He had poured over the legal document again and again and almost driven his attorney to distraction with his detailed questions.

 

Lifting his gaze and leaning back in his seat, Sisko tossed the PADD onto his desktop. “Are you out of your mind, Doctor?” he asked, pinning him with the full weight of his dark brown glare.

 

Julian sat up straighter, lifting his chin. “No Sir,” he said, fighting to keep any trace of defensiveness out of his voice. “I've given this long and careful consideration. My attorney assures me that it is not in violation of Federation law or Starfleet policy, even if it is extremely unusual.”

 

“Extremely unusual is understatement,” Sisko said. “You're proposing turning over power of attorney, the ability to decide if you live or die in an emergency, to a man we know almost nothing about, who blew up his own shop on this station to manipulate Constable Odo into undertaking an investigation, and who as we speak is heading off on a mission to check on the welfare of the ex head of the Obsidian Order!”

 

The doctor blanched. Garak hadn't filled him in on those last two details, and he hadn't asked. There was nothing to do now but to press forward. “Yes Sir,” he said stiffly.

 

Sisko sighed heavily, lifting his baseball from its stand and turning it in one hand. “Why, Doctor? Do you realize what a move like this will look like to Starfleet? Hell man, do you realize what it looks like to me?”

 

He forced himself to meet that angry glare. Sisko wasn't his father. This wasn't about gaining or losing approval. He reminded himself of that as he answered. “With all due respect, Sir, I don't care what it looks like. I'm doing this because I don't ever want him to have to go through what he went through when I was unconscious again. Frankly, when it comes to such a situation, I'm inclined more to trust his judgment than that of a Bajoran nurse who doesn't much like either of us.”

 

The Commander made a small sound of irritation. “That was unfortunate, yes,” he agreed. “But what you're talking about extends well beyond such circumstances. Not only will he have life or death decision making abilities for you, he'll be in full control of your assets should you ever become incapacitated.”

 

“Commander, he's not a Ferengi,” he said, feeling irritated at the implication. “Whatever you can say about him, you can't believe he'd rob me blind.”

 

“Until today, I wouldn't have believed he could blow up his own shop and pin it on a Flaxian,” he said pointedly.

 

Julian scoffed. “You've never trusted him. Let's not quibble over details. I'm asking you to look over that document and grant me permission to file it in Federation legal archives. Just because you don't trust Garak isn't a good enough reason for you to refuse me. If you do, I'll file an official protest.”

 

“Let's get one thing straight,” Sisko said, leaning forward. “I don't take kindly to threats. If you expect me to stick my neck out for you over something this outrageous, you're going to have to answer some questions. I can promise you they're questions that Admiral Nechayev will be asking me when this comes across her desk.”

 

“Ask,” the doctor said with an abrupt gesture. He had known this wasn't going to be an easy sell. He was prepared to do whatever it took.

 

Garak

USS Rio Grande

 

He'd never tell Odo, but the time they were spending together on their way toward Tain's safe house was more enjoyable than most conversations he had had for a very long time. With his civilian pretense stripped away, they could engage on a level more suitable to both of their intellects and observational skills. The changeling thrust very close to the truth with his observations about his emotional attachment to Tain, and he in turn jabbed at Odo's facade of unconcern when it came to the solids around him. He suspected more than just a little that the Constable had feelings for Major Kira. He wasn't ready to play that hand, however. Part of the most skillfully played game involved knowing when to keep things close to the vest. It was an entertaining way to while away the time and distract himself from his worry for his father's safety.

 

After a little over two hours, they neared their goal within Cardassian space, then everything stopped making sense altogether. A Romulan Warbird decloaked and tractored them in. He was certain that the two of them were in for a most unpleasant time, only to find himself escorted into the presence of Tain himself looking healthy, if much thicker than he remembered him, and very satisfied with himself. Of course, he thought bitterly. The Romulans didn't want me dead. He did, but why?

 

He had no choice but to play this new game on Tain's terms, thrusting and counter thrusting for every scrap of information he could glean. Odo impatiently watched the two of them, obviously not impressed. He didn't expect the blunt as a hammer security chief to understand the nuances of Cardassian maneuvering, but even he found himself feeling impatient with the lengths to which he had to go to uncover the mystery of his assassination attempt and what business the Romulans had in Cardassian space.

 

The more he heard, the more alarmed he felt. Tain and his new associates in the Tal Shiar actually believed they had a chance to take the Founders of the Dominion by surprise and eradicate the lot of them? He didn't dare to show Odo that he found himself in agreement with his position that this was a rash action not to be undertaken at any cost. How was it possible that Tain was willing to trust some of his worst and most implacable enemies now?

 

Even if he could take his father's offer to allow him to leave unscathed at face value, something he strongly doubted, where would that leave Tain? Every instinct screamed at him to leave and cut his losses, the same instincts that screamed that the Romulans couldn't be trusted for an instant and that Tain was in terrible danger, just too proud and set in his ways to realize it. Over Odo's sensible objections, he accepted Tain's offer to join him and return to the fold. Perhaps if he remained at his side, he could be of some use when things went badly, as he believed they inevitably would. He realized that in this act, he couldn't afford to blink or flinch, not for a split second. If his father wasn't the one to realize his true motives, the Romulans would be, and they just might kill him for it.

 

Julian

Commander Sisko's Office

 

Sisko steepled his hands before him and let his index fingers tap at his chin. “This relationship of yours,” he said slowly, “who started it, you or Garak?”

 

“I did,” Julian answered. He felt a little offended at the Commander's look of surprise. “I imagine you expected to hear differently,” he continued, “a tale of an older man taking advantage of a young officer's naïve fascination with his air of mystique. While I won't deny that Garak has held a certain fascination for me from the beginning, that wasn't why I decided to take our friendship to a deeper level.”

 

“Why did you?” Sisko asked.

 

Julian flushed slightly. He wasn't about to tell his commanding officer that it started thanks to an erotic dream. “I just realized one day that I saw him in a different light, and I acted on that interest. Is that any different than it is for most people?” he asked.

 

“No, I suppose not,” the Commander conceded. “Have you had many relationships with men in the past?”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked hotly.

 

Sisko held up a hand. “As you were, Doctor. Starfleet brass is going to look for any excuse they can find to dissect your association with Mr. Garak. If this is unusual behavior for you, they're going to find it suspect. They may even decide that your loyalty to the Federation has been compromised.”

 

He sighed and said, “It is unusual for me. Then again, so is any sort of sustained relationship. Before Garak, I had only one other I was truly in love with, a ballerina in Paris. I've dated a few aliens since my assignment and before Garak and I got involved, no Cardassians, obviously. Commander, I didn't fall in love with a sex or a race. I fell in love with a person. Why is that so hard to understand?” His eyes flashed. “We wouldn't be having this conversation at all if I were making this same request with a Bajoran in mind.”

 

“We've never been at war with the Bajorans,” Sisko said plainly.

 

“And we're not at war with the Cardassians now, any more than we are with the Klingons. In fact, we have a treaty with Cardassia, as I recall.”

 

“You're serious about this relationship?”

 

“You wouldn't have that legal document in front of you if I wasn't,” he answered, feeling his patience slipping.

 

“Have you discussed it with your parents?” he asked.

 

He had had enough. He stood abruptly. “I'm sorry, Commander, but that...all of this...really isn't any of your business. If Starfleet wants to find it unusual that I haven't invited my parents to Deep Space Nine to meet the man I'm in love with, then they are more than welcome to contact my parents and ask them what we have discussed in the past decade or so. My request is legal. It's well reasoned, and it's not due to some manipulation on Garak's part. Garak has nothing to gain from power of attorney over me or my assets except one thing and one thing only, the right to see me and be at my side in time of an emergency, the same right that any lover ought to be able to expect in time of crisis. Since we can't get married, this is the next best thing. It protects me as much as it does him from unscrupulous prejudices.”

 

Sisko eyed him oddly for some long moments. “You'd marry him if you could?”

 

“It's not possible, so it's not something we've ever even discussed,” he answered tightly.

 

“Sit down, Doctor,” Sisko said in a gentler tone of voice. “I'm done with the questions, but I want to say something to you as your friend, not your commanding officer, before you leave and I forward this to Admiral Nechayev with my permission for you to file.”

 

Feeling wary, he did so, his back straight and both feet planted firmly on the floor. “What?”

 

“What you're doing will definitely prevent another incident like the one you had with Nurse Decla. That much is true. Have you considered what it will do to your career? You and I both know that the peace we have with Cardassia is tenuous at best. Tensions along the DMZ are rising every day. This whole conflict with the Maquis could explode in all of our faces before all is said and done. You will be the only Starfleet officer in history to have an enemy of the Federation with legal power over you. In fact this document might not even survive a legal challenge should that event arise.”

 

“I've considered all of that. I know how I'll be viewed. In some ways, I already am viewed that way here. I'm very aware of it and of how much many of the Bajorans resent me as a by-product of resenting Garak. If you were in my position, Sir, would you allow those concerns to get in the way of protecting the person you love? Can you sit there and tell me honestly that you'd behave any differently?”

 

He knew he had him then. The last of his resistance fled, leaving only concern and resignation in its place. “No, Doctor, I can't tell you that. I just wish that for once, I could talk someone into being more reasoned and intelligent than I would be in their place.” He smiled slightly. “You can file this first thing in the morning. Was there anything else you needed?”

 

Julian shook his head. “No. Thank you, Commander. I appreciate your time, and I won't be filing this until Garak returns and I know he's willing to accept the responsibility.” He left the office with mixed feelings, relief at having made his case, worry that he might be making a mistake, but most of all fear that Garak might not even make it back in one piece to take on the role he hoped that he would accept. The unexpected news that he had left out of concern for Tain's safety didn't sit well with him at all, not after he had seen the active malice in the old Cardassian's eyes in regard to his Elim.