This chapter reminded me of something. I was in high school during the first four years of DS9's run. I didn't have a tv in college, so I had to catch up on seasons 5-7 while on breaks at home. But even though I was not a kid when the show was on, I can only remember my reactions to three episodes of the series when it was first run. The first is a very early ep in which an alien show Odo something that looks like a miniature shapeshifter and tells Odo he knows about his people and they go on some adventure, but the mini shapeshifter only turns out to be a key to something that had been holding the guy's daughter prisoner. He expects Odo to arrest him, but Odo lets him go. I remember that (but not the name of the ep!) because it was the first time I'd ever cried over a TV show.
The other two episodes I clearly remember my reactions to were Improbable Cause and The Die is Cast. Specifically, at the end of the latter, the look of desolation on Garak's face after Odo leaves the shop after inviting him to breakfast. At the time, I was confused. I thought Garak should be happy - he didn't die, he was going to rebuild his business, and Odo was starting to respect him, if not outright like him. I remember not understanding why in light of all that, Garak seemed so sad.
This story, and specifically this chapter, dovetails nicely with that expression on Garak's face, because now, as an adult, I understand what it is. It's realization dawning on him of what (he thinks) he's lost. On the Defiant, there was really no time to think about that as they were trying to get out before it was too late. But back on the station, it's all brought home to Garak, and so your description of his breakdown and his reaction to Julian is immensely haunting but so very realistic.
Feedback, Part One
The other two episodes I clearly remember my reactions to were Improbable Cause and The Die is Cast. Specifically, at the end of the latter, the look of desolation on Garak's face after Odo leaves the shop after inviting him to breakfast. At the time, I was confused. I thought Garak should be happy - he didn't die, he was going to rebuild his business, and Odo was starting to respect him, if not outright like him. I remember not understanding why in light of all that, Garak seemed so sad.
This story, and specifically this chapter, dovetails nicely with that expression on Garak's face, because now, as an adult, I understand what it is. It's realization dawning on him of what (he thinks) he's lost. On the Defiant, there was really no time to think about that as they were trying to get out before it was too late. But back on the station, it's all brought home to Garak, and so your description of his breakdown and his reaction to Julian is immensely haunting but so very realistic.