Ghosts, Part II--Conclusion

[dark_sinestra]

 

Garak

Quark's Bar

 

Operation avoid the Dukat girl was going as planned. Ever since Garak met up with his dinner companion, there was no sign of her. He sat at his table with Rom, the two of them with a good view from the second floor balcony and a solid wall at their backs. The Ferengi seemed to be settling well into his new role as a maintenance worker, having bent Garak's ear for the better part of an hour about his duties and how much he was learning on the job. Leeta worked the dabo wheel below, and a few other familiar faces came and went in the pursuit of having a good time.

 

His mind on several different topics at once, Garak threw out one he had been mulling for some time but had yet to give voice until now. “Do you know Chalan Aroya?” he asked abruptly. It wasn't the most graceful conversation transition, he knew. He just wasn't sure how many more times he could hear the words “power couplings” in one night without resorting to painting lurid pictures in his mind.

 

Rom tipped his head and considered. “I think so,” he said. “Doesn't she own the new Celestial Café?”

 

“The very one,” Garak said. “She's quite lovely, wouldn't you say?”

 

Rom frowned slightly. “She looks a lot like Nurse Decla. Didn't you learn your lesson about trying to get too friendly with Bajorans? They don't like your people much, Garak. No offense.”

 

“She doesn't look anything like Lisane,” Garak retorted, “except for being blond and Bajoran. At any rate, if it will ease your mind, I'll have you know I'm not looking for that sort of thing from her.”

 

“Then what?” Rom asked warily, lifting his snail juice for a gulp.

 

“I was thinking of introducing her to Odo,” he said smoothly.

 

Rom coughed and set his glass down quickly. It took a few thumps of his fist to his chest to get himself unclogged enough to speak again. “Why would you do that?” he asked.

 

“Why not?” he asked lightly. “Is she married?”

 

“No, well...not that I know of, but...Odo? What would Odo do with a fe-male?” Rom asked.

 

Garak decided he really didn't want to follow that line of thought. He cleared his throat. “Companionship? What's so wrong with the idea? He used to spend quite a bit of time with Major Kira before her relationship with First Minister Shakaar developed.”

 

“That was for work,” Rom said. “Chalan is nice, I suppose. Brother doesn't like her, though.”

 

“Your brother doesn't like any competition,” Garak pointed out dryly. “I think it's a good idea, personally. The only thing I haven't been able to decide is how best to do it. She has been very approachable so far. She has even told me she's considering coming in for a fitting and a new dress soon. Do you think it would be too obvious if I just happened to have Odo there at the same time?”

 

Rom blinked. “You're asking me for fe-male advice?”

 

Garak sighed to himself. The man had a point. “Never mind,” he said, glancing out once more over the bar crowd. He narrowed his eyes slightly at the sight of O'Brien at the bar. His body language boded trouble.

 

Rom followed the direction of his gaze and dropped his voice. “Chief O'Brien has been in a bad way lately, ever since he got back from Argrathi space. I haven't experienced it personally, but some of the others have been trying to avoid him. Jaroth said two nights ago he threw an ODN recoupler at him when he accidentally misdiagnosed a relay glitch. Hit him pretty hard in the shoulder.”

 

Garak nodded absently. He read the threat of violence in the set of the man's hunched shoulders. He shifted his gaze to Quark, too wrapped in what he was doing to notice the trouble brewing so close to him. It was a busy night. He didn't envy a bartender's duties or the danger of constant exposure to the inebriated and discontent. It occurred to him that he could warn the man, but why? He tolerated Quark. He didn't like him. If he was too unobservant to see what was right under his nose, who was Garak to interfere?

 

O'Brien's move on Quark was sudden, the practiced move of a soldier. He had him by the wrist in a painful pin almost too quickly for the eye to follow. Garak was just as quick to seize Rom's forearm and shake his head. “No,” he said. “You'll make it worse.”

 

“But...” Rom said, clearly dismayed and worried.

 

“Let security handle it if it gets out of hand,” Garak insisted. “Do you want to jeopardize your standing in your job?” He felt Rom relax under his hold and knew he had talked the fight out of the man.

 

O'Brien moved away from the bar with his drink and sat at a table. He seemed to be talking to himself. No, Garak thought shrewdly, he seems to be talking to someone next to him. Hallucinating? He knew it was possible. Shaking himself from those thoughts, he refocused on Rom. “I believe you'd do well to follow your co-workers' example and avoid the chief in the foreseeable future.”

 

Rom nodded uneasily. “Do you think Starfleet will protect him and allow him to treat the rest of us like that?”

 

“I don't know,” Garak said simply. “I don't pretend to understand half of the things they do. They're inconsistent at best, at worst blatantly hypocritical. For all I know, they'll decorate him for getting your brother to work faster.” He was exaggerating, but only somewhat.

 

Rom frowned. “That wasn't funny,” he said sullenly.

 

“It wasn't intended to be,” Garak assured him. “Do you wish to go check on your brother now? It seems the worst has passed.”

 

The Ferengi considered before shaking his head. “He wouldn't appreciate it, and I can tell by looking at him he's all right. If he wants to talk about it, he'll come to me later. I need to be getting on shift soon anyway.” He took a few more bites of his food and stood. “Thanks for inviting me for dinner. I've missed talking since going on the night shift.”

 

Garak smiled slightly and inclined his head pleasantly. “I've missed our lunches, as well, but I'm pleased for your finding work better suited to your talents.”

 

Rom beamed. “Me, too. I haven't told Nog yet. I want to surprise him.”

 

Garak's smile widened at the thought. “I imagine he'll be quite surprised indeed. Do let me know.”

 

“Maybe I'll have a dinner when he visits, and you can see for yourself. I could invite Leeta, too.”

 

“She may not come if Julian isn't also invited,” Garak prompted.

 

“Well,” Rom frowned, “I'll have to think about that. I'll talk to you again soon. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

 

“I intend to try,” Garak said and watched him retreat. He had made so much progress since attaining the new job. It was almost like talking to a different person. He supposed he had known on some level from the beginning that Rom had much more in him than a surface glance revealed, or he would never have tried to get to know him better. It was gratifying to see his progression.

 

Chief O'Brien left, looking furtive and unsettled. Garak watched him all the way out the door and then turned his attention to Leeta as she approached from the circular stairwell. He allowed himself the simple enjoyment of her grace without taking the thought any further and gestured at Rom's recently vacated chair. “Break time?” he asked.

 

“Yes,” she said, nodding and taking the seat gratefully. She shifted in the chair, and Garak glanced downward, seeing that she had kicked her heels off. “I can't believe how busy it is tonight,” she said.

 

“I was just thinking it was quite a crowd. I doubt I'll linger much longer. The noise level bothers me.”

 

“You're lucky you can leave,” she teased him lightly. Her expression shifted to something more serious. “You know, I'm sure you've already noticed this, but just in case you haven't...that half Cardassian girl...Gul Dukat's daughter? I've seen her lingering around your shop a lot lately, even when you're not there. Do you know her?”

 

That was something he didn't know, that the girl had been paying his shop visits after hours. He would have to break out some of his sweepers and check for bugs and things even less benign. He let none of his concern show, schooling his features to mild curiosity. “Really?” he asked. “No, I know of her, of course, but I don't know her. Perhaps she's window shopping?”

 

“Maybe,” Leeta said, neither sounding nor looking convinced. She broke into a smile a moment later. “Maybe she finds you handsome and mysterious. You're the only Cardassian on the station after all. That has to be a powerful draw for her.”

 

Garak laughed aloud. “My dear, I believe you highly overestimate my appeal.”

 

“Don't be so sure,” she said, a teasing glimmer in her eyes and the curve of her lips. “Anyway,” she slipped back into her shoes and stood, “I thought you should know. Maybe you should introduce yourself to her. It couldn't hurt anything. I imagine she's lonely. There aren't many Bajorans who'd have much to do with her thanks to her father. I've been meaning to introduce myself, but I never seem to be able to catch her at a good time. I see her either on my way to work or halfway through shift.”

 

“I'll take your advice under consideration,” he said, offering her a bland smile and having no intention of any such thing. He felt more than a little alarm at the thought of her skulking about his shop when the Promenade was quiet and dark. Had she also been outside his quarters? There was no way to know. His fingers itched for his phaser. “If you manage to introduce yourself first, tell her to drop in during store hours if she's interested in a purchase.” Perhaps with a little prompting, he could force her hand without her being any the wiser.

 

Leeta leaned close enough for him to smell her perfume and have his cheek tickled by her hair. “And if she's interested in something else?” she asked, a wicked tone to her whisper.

 

“Then I trust you'll give me ample warning,” he said, leaning back and fixing her with a brilliant blue gaze. “She may be lovely, but she's little more than a child. Please, don't encourage anything...untoward.”

 

She relented her tease and gave him a warmer smile. “I wouldn't dream of doing anything of the like,” she said sincerely. “But honestly, don't be too surprised if it turns out to be something like that on her part. I've seen the signs before, and it looks as though she has them all.” She squeezed his shoulder. “You don't have to understand it for it to be possible. I had best get back to work before Quark starts bellowing. I saw what happened earlier. He's going to be in a simply lovely mood the rest of the night.” She rolled her eyes expressively.

 

He watched her retreat and pondered what she said. It didn't seem very likely to him. He couldn't blame her for what she thought. The Bajorans were an open, straightforward people on the whole. It was part of the reason they were so easy for Cardassia to oppress for as long as it did. It would never occur to her that the daughter of someone like Dukat could be a well honed blade primed for a stab. Even Major Kira might be blinded to the true nature of the girl, her natural sympathy for her circumstances preventing her from seeing more sinister intentions. He left payment for his meal and departed the bar, troubled and deep in thought. He resigned himself to getting little sleep that night, as a full sweep of the corridor outside his quarters and the area outside his shop would last well into the early morning hours.

 

Julian

The Infirmary

 

“Sir?” the more direct of the two day nurses stepped quickly into the lab very shortly after Miles' angry departure. Worry creased her brow. “I heard shouting. He didn't hurt you, did he?”

 

“No,” Julian lied. It was true in the way the nurse intended it. Miles hadn't laid a hand on him, but his rage at being relieved of duty by Captain Sisko on Julian's recommendation had led to extremely harsh words. Telnorri's warning came back to haunt him. Was it possible he had broken their friendship beyond repair? He wrestled with the conflicting impulses to follow after the engineer or give him time to cool off. The truth was that despite his superior intellect and ability to react quickly and calmly in a crisis, he wasn't necessarily always as socially adept as he wished to be. He didn't know the right course of action.

 

“Sir?” the Bajoran woman stepped closer and hesitantly touched his arm.

 

“I'm fine, really,” he said, offering her a tight smile. “I just...I need a moment, please.” She nodded and retreated. Julian had the computer close the door and turned to the comm. He hoped that Miles was headed home. He hesitated a few minutes more before making the decision to contact Keiko. He took a few deep breaths to comport himself. It would never do to upset her.

 

She answered on the third chime and offered him a cautious smile. “Julian,” she said, “I wasn't expecting a call from you. Is...everything all right?”

 

He put on his best pleasant smile. “I was just wondering if Miles was there,” he said. “I'd like to speak to him if he has a moment.”

 

Her expression darkened. “No, he's not here. He's at work. You know that.”

 

“I'll just try back later,” he said quickly. “If you do see him, would you please ask him to call me? It's important.” He cut the signal before she could question him further, not wanting to tread on Miles' privacy without his permission. “Computer, where is Chief O'Brien?”

 

“Unknown,” came the response.

 

Of course, he thought dourly. If he's off duty, he won't be wearing his badge. Damn. He tried to return to the lab samples he was analyzing, but his heart wasn't in his work. He was deeply worried about Miles. After about twenty minutes, he couldn't help himself. He hailed his quarters again. Keiko was harder to put off the second time, and Miles still wasn't there. Where are you? he wondered. If anyone could hide on the station, it would definitely be the chief engineer. Just shy of the hour mark, he tried one more time. This time he confided to Keiko that he was worried about the man without specifically telling her why. Every instinct was telling him that things were unraveling with his friend, possibly to a dangerous degree.

 

After he got off the comm with her, he worried his lower lip between his teeth then put a call through to Odo. “Constable,” he said, “I think I need your help.” He quickly laid out the situation with Miles, the confrontation and his departure, and told him of his concern. “Can you keep an eye out for him on the security feeds? I'm hoping he'll go home. If he doesn't, I'm not sure what he'll do, but I'm concerned for his safety.”

 

“Do you want me to have a security team on stand-by?” Odo asked.

 

He considered the option and rejected it. “No. I think that would do more harm than good, but if you find him anywhere he's not supposed to be or see him doing anything he shouldn't be doing, alert me at once, and I'll go to him.”

 

“Understood,” Odo said, severing the link.

 

He felt slightly better. He had done everything he could do for the moment. It allowed him to return his focus to his work. He believed he was making progress with the infection plaguing the station and had narrowed down a group of drugs that would not only treat it in the infected but slow the spread. Less than two hours later, Odo's voice grated over his comm badge. “Doctor, you had better get to Cargo Bay Seven right away. Chief O'Brien is wrecking it. Are you sure you don't want back up?”

 

“I'm sure,” he said, immediately leaving the lab and telling the first nurse he saw that she was in charge of the infirmary until further notice. He hurried out into the crowd on the Promenade and shouldered through. He was able to increase his pace to a brisk jog once he was out of the crowd and turned down a side corridor. He hopped a turbolift and directed it downward.

 

Odo's voice came to him a second time, taut with urgency. “You had better hurry. He has found a weapon, and I think he means himself harm.”

 

He felt his heart leap into his throat. The moment the turbolift came to a stop, he darted from the platform and sprinted down the corridor, not bothering to disguise his speed. There was no one there to see him, and it wouldn't have mattered had there been. All he knew was that he had to reach Miles. He tried to get the doors to the bay to open. Apparently, Miles had it on lock down. He barked out his override code and squeezed through the opening doors without waiting for them to complete their motion. His eyes darted around the trashed bay and lighted on the chief. Although his back was to him, he could see that he had something in hand and was pressing it beneath his chin. “Chief?” he said, willing the panic out of his voice with difficulty.

 

“Get out of here, Julian,” Miles said harshly.

 

He held his hands out slowly, his heart hammering so hard in his chest that he could hear the persistent thud and the rush of blood in his ears. “You don't want to do this, Chief,” he said, shocked by how calm he sounded. It was almost as though someone else were speaking.

 

“The hell I don't,” the Irishman grated, shoving the phaser harder into the flesh beneath his jaw.

 

Keep talking, he told himself. You have to keep talking. He stayed as reasonable and stable as he could, doing his level best to talk the man down. All the while, he kept his eyes locked to Miles' gaze when every instinct screamed at him to watch his hand instead. He approached slowly, and at last the things that he sensed his friend had been holding back on him began to come to light. He listened in horror to Miles' account of his cell mate, Ee'Char, how they had fought, how eventually he had killed him over a misunderstanding about food. The fact that it was nothing more than an artificially created memory meant nothing in the larger scheme of things. The damage to Miles' psyche and self image and his anguish were terribly real. He had no idea if his appeal to reason and his assertion that Miles was still a good man would make a difference. All he could do was to try. He put his heart into the words and willed Miles to believe him with everything he had.

 

The engineer looked to a point beyond Julian and back to him and slowly lowered the phaser. Carefully and gently, Julian reached for it and took it away. The relief that flooded his body nearly took him down to his knees. He quickly flicked the weapon off with his thumb. Miles' attention remained beyond him a moment more before the man looked back to him and broke down. He held him tightly, using every iota of his self control not to join him in the emotional storm. That had been far too close of a call for comfort. He felt himself shaking from the adrenaline dump, both men carefully sinking to their knees. As he pressed a hand to the back of the curly head of hair, he closed his eyes and silently thanked Odo for his observation skills and his willingness to trust his judgment. He had no doubt that a security team's presence would have spelled complete disaster.

 

Miles' tears soaked the side of his neck and the shoulder of his uniform. The hard, corrugated plating of the cargo deck bit into his knees. He ignored the discomfort, determined to stay as long as the man needed him. Then he felt tentative lips at his throat and froze entirely, his breath hitching in his chest. “Miles?” he whispered. He felt a firmer kiss in response. “Miles,” he said again more strongly and tightened his fingers in the curls beneath them. “Please, don't do this.”

 

“You're th' only one who understands me,” the words came low and muffled against his skin, the hot breath tickling.

 

“That may be,” Julian said softly. How to do this? What to say that wouldn't send the already fragile man into a deadly tailspin? He wished not for the first time that he could be as glib and convincing as Garak, but he knew that no lie would suffice in this situation. “But I don't have those kinds of feelings for you.”

 

“You could try,” Miles husked thickly.

 

“Miles,” he said painfully, “you know better.” He pulled back enough to take the man's face between his hands, forcing him to eye contact. “You're the best friend I've ever had, the...the brother I never had. I'd do anything for you...except feign a feeling you want me to have that I don't. It would be cruel to both of us. Please, don't ask me to do that, and don't make me hurt you when I know you're already as low as you've ever been.” He fought the sting of tears. “I don't want to lose you. Don't you understand that?”

 

The man seemed to shrink in on himself a little, dropping his gaze. “I understand,” he said, nodding. “I don't think I would've ever said anything...except...except I guess I felt like I had nothin' left t' lose.”

 

“That's not true,” Julian said, refusing to allow him to pull away. He drew him back and held him tighter. “I know it doesn't seem that way right now. You have family and friends who love you. We're going to help get you through this. You will find yourself again. I promise you that.”

 

“Even after I pulled somethin' so awful?” he asked miserably.

 

“Do you honestly think I didn't know?” he asked softly. He had his answer in the quiet noise of dismay that greeted his question. “I did, and it never changed anything. It'll take a lot more than that to drive me away.”

 

They were silent for a long time. Miles finally said, “Thank you, Julian. D' you think you can help me up? My legs have gone t' sleep.”

 

He tried to comply, only to find his legs no more inclined to be cooperative than O'Brien's. He snorted his consternation. “This may take a while, actually.” Both men looked at one another and found unexpected laughter. It was only then that Julian discovered he believed what he had told his friend. Eventually, things would be OK again.

 

After stopping by the infirmary to get Miles some new medication for the depression and hallucinations and dropping the man off at his quarters to be with his family, Julian informed his day nurses he wouldn't be returning to work. His near miss with O'Brien had him feeling shaken to his core. He eyed Garak's shop and rejected the prospect. About almost anything else, he could approach the Cardassian with reasonable certainty that he'd be understanding to the best of his ability. He had never been so about Miles. Worse, he might use anything Julian said as ammunition against the engineer.

 

He shuffled along the corridor to the turbolift and leaned against the back wall as it rose to take him to Leeta's habitat ring. His knees ached still, no worse than the heaviness he felt in his chest. He knew that he was at least partially to blame for the end of what happened. He could have confronted him much earlier about his feelings and put the issue to rest. He could have spared him the humiliation of rejection when he was least prepared to cope with it. He hadn't because he had feared deep down that if he did, he would lose the friendship entirely, that it was only hope that something might develop that kept Miles coming back to him. In some ways, he had been as dishonest with him as he had been initially with Leeta. When had he become such a coward? Had he always been so?

 

He let himself into her quarters, finding them sepulchrally dark. She was still asleep. At any other time, he might have left instead of disturbing her, but he needed her, needed someone. He couldn't tell her details, bound by doctor/patient confidentiality. If it wasn't one thing constraining him in and keeping him oppressively silent, it was something else. He wondered if his choice of career had a hidden dark side that he was only now coming to see and comprehend, the necessity of secrets conspiring to keep his greatest deeply subsumed.

 

He didn't need light to find his way into the bedroom. He sat on the side of the bed and listened to the slow, steady rhythm of her soft breaths. His hand hovered momentarily above her bare shoulder before he pulled back and curled on his side atop the covers with his back against hers, hugging himself tightly. He realized that if he awakened her, everything he had inside would spill out messily in violation of all the oaths he took for his profession. He had used up his supply of self control on his suicidal friend. He was treading a knife edge. He made do with her passive heat and tried to convince himself that it was enough, deciding that if he still felt so raw upon awakening, he'd make his own appointment with Counselor Telnorri. He had seen first hand the danger of forced isolation. He never wanted to be the man with the phaser to his own head.

 

Garak

The Celestial Café

 

“You were right,” Leeta said, lifting her napkin to dab at a corner of her lips. “The food here is really good.” She offered a wry smile. “I'm sure you didn't invite me to lunch here for my critique of the Bajoran cuisine or for my company, no matter how nice it is.”

 

Garak smiled closed lipped, his eyes twinkling. He liked that she was perceptive. She wasn't as suspicious as she should have been most of the time. Few non-Cardassians ever were. However, she caught him in enough to keep him on his toes. He leaned closer to her so that he wouldn't run the risk of being overheard. The lovely proprietor bustled about, clearing the cloth covered tables a couple of meters away. “You are remarkably observant.” It never hurt to flatter. “I want to do something for Odo, but I'm going to need help.”

 

She instantly mirrored his manner and leaned in closer as well, her eyes alight. “What do you have in mind?” she whispered.

 

“I want to introduce him to Chalan,” he said with a subtle nod toward the busy woman. “I think the two of them would hit it off, if we can get past his reticence. She's a ray of sunshine without being overly pushy and bubbly. The problem is that if I show too much interest, she may mistake my intent and either withdraw or be overly receptive to the wrong target, but...”

 

“Coming from another woman, it's less likely to be threatening or enticing,” she finished for him. She giggled quietly. “I never would have pegged you as a matchmaker, Garak.”

 

“As a tailor, I run into people all the time who I feel might...meld well socially. It's only natural that from time to time I'd wish to give a little nudge,” he said.

 

Still amused she nodded. “All right. I'm in. Besides, it's an opportunity for me to tweak Quark's nose. I'm sure he'll assume I'm giving secrets to the competition and drive himself crazy trying to prove it.”

 

He eyed her with new appreciation. “I never knew you could be so delightfully petty,” he said.

 

“Are you kidding? This is Quark I'm talking about,” she said with an easy laugh. “All I need is the right motivation. I'm doing something evil and something good in the same fell swoop. It doesn't get any better than that.”

 

“I don't think you could do something truly evil if you tried,” he said. “Not that I'm issuing you a challenge. You have a mean slap.”

 

Her gaze dropped momentarily. “I hate that I actually hit you,” she said.

 

“I was teasing you, dear,” he added hastily. “I deserved it and then some. Don't ever regret giving the deserving a comeuppance.”

 

When she lifted her gaze, it was complex. He watched the internal struggle, well familiar with seeing that impulse in others to share that which they weren't certain they should share. He had spent a large part of his life learning how to draw out such confessions, and he always preferred non-coercion. It was the greater challenge. He must have struck the right look, for she drew in a breath and said, “I...what I have to say doesn't go beyond this table, all right?”

 

He nodded, leaning closer yet. These moments were his favorite sorts, serendipitous intimacy that may or may not prove useful further down the line. He collected secrets like some collected coins and hoarded them covetously. “You have my vow,” he said caressingly.

 

“I don't know how much longer I can stay with Julian,” she said, looking troubled. “The strangest thing is that it has nothing to do with you or what he did with you. I don't pretend to know how it worked, but that ultimately made me feel closer to you as a friend, and I could never regret that. It's...it's what we've talked about before, how much he holds back, and...” her brow furrowed, “there's something else. I feel...I think I'm starting to feel drawn to someone else.”

 

He thought he knew who, letting on nothing. He mirrored her expression. “Don't you think you should be telling Julian this?” he asked gently.

 

She nodded. “Eventually, yes. I know I should. I...I'm just not quite ready. You won't say anything?”

 

Her large, dark eyes reminded him of the liquid eyes of a prey animal. The look prompted a less than savory instinct that was easy enough to override. He felt genuine fondness for the woman and had long since stopped viewing her as competition or an antagonist. It was as she said. They had grown close through the strange arrangement. “Of course not,” he said. “That's between you and Julian.”

 

“I don't know how you handle his secretiveness,” she said with a sigh.

 

Chalan stopped by their table and eyed them in a way that made Garak believe she thought they were together in a way that they weren't. He decided not to correct the impression. Sometimes gossip also yielded interesting results, and if she thought he was already with someone else, she would be more receptive to his overtures on behalf of Odo. “I hope you two saved room for dessert,” she said.

 

“We could split something,” Garak replied too quickly for Leeta to override him and favored his companion with a glance he knew that Chalan would misread.

 

The woman beamed. “If you trust me, I'll surprise you with something I'm sure you'll both like.”

 

“We're in your capable hands,” he said, spreading his hands palms up.

 

Leeta narrowed her eyes and waited for the woman to move out of hearing distance. “What was that?” she hissed low, seemingly torn between amusement and irritation. “Never mind. I probably don't want to know. Just don't blame me when Julian storms in making accusations of us doing something behind his back. That's all on you, Mister. Don't you ever get tired of playing games?”

 

“Never,” he said. He was just as glad that her previous question seemed to have slipped her mind. He didn't want to get into how he handled or failed to handle Julian's defense mechanisms. It wasn't something he fully understood, himself, and nothing unsettled him more than his own blind spots.

 

Chalan was right about the dessert. She served them perfectly ripe red fruits in a very light syrup with a dollop of creamy custard stirred artfully into the amber liquid. Garak urged Leeta to eat her share, aware of his tendency to over-indulge with sweets when they tasted that good. “Don't look now,” Leeta said softly, lifting a bite of her fruit and chewing with obvious enjoyment. She swallowed and subtly tipped her head. “Your shadow is here.”

 

Garak did as she instructed and kept his attention on her. “The Dukat girl,” he said. He didn't have to ask. Just because his sweeps had revealed nothing untoward, it didn't mean the girl wasn't trying to spy on him. This wasn't the first time she had arrived in an establishment in which he was already settled. She was getting bolder.

 

“Her name is Ziyal,” Leeta said smugly. He could tell she enjoyed his discomfort in the same spirit in which he often enjoyed Julian's. It was vexatiously charming. The Bajoran woman batted her eyes at him in a laughable approximation of innocence. “Would you like an introduction? I've actually spoken to her since the last time we discussed this. I'm reasonably sure she doesn't bite.”

 

“That will be quite unnecessary,” he said, wiping his mouth.

 

She tilted her head, her red hair catching fiery highlights from the golden lighting of the café. “If I didn't know any better,” she said with deliberate emphasis, “I'd say you were afraid of that little girl.”

 

“It's good that you know better,” he said, enjoying this teasing of hers less by the minute, “and she is hardly a 'little girl'.”

 

She dropped her voice further. “You are afraid. Garak, why? Is it because she's half Bajoran? Does that make you uncomfortable?”

 

He shook his head irritably. “It's nothing like that,” he said. “I'm having lunch with you, aren't I? I dated Lisane. If I had a problem with Bajorans, you'd know it by now, wouldn't you think?”

 

“Then what? She's really very nice. If she's this interested in you, the least you could do is to go and say hello. What could it hurt?”

 

You have no idea, he thought dryly. He adopted a slightly scathing tone. “Is it so difficult to conceive that I might find the fawning attentions of some child exceedingly tiresome? If she wants so badly to meet me, then she can stop acting like one of those tikkas from your planet and approach me like an adult, introduce herself, and prove herself worthy of something more than my irritation.”

 

“I really don't get you sometimes,” she said, sitting back in her chair and eying him curiously. “I know you well enough not to take any of that at face value, but kosst if I can tell what you're trying to hide beneath it. Have it your way, then. For the record, I suspect she's way more stubborn than you think she is. You're going to have to do something more than hide in your quarters or invite people like me, Rom, and Julian out for outings to avoid having her around. While I'm happy to help you with your plans for Odo, when it comes to Ziyal, you're on your own. You're just plain being mean. Find some new cover.” She stood and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, her way of showing him she wasn't angry, he supposed, and then she left him there to deal with his problem.

 

He did what any good agent seeing the potential of being backed into a corner would do, paid for their meal and beat a hasty retreat. Leeta may have been right for all he knew. He might eventually find avoiding Ziyal impossible. Today was not that day.

 

Julian

Counselor Telnorri's Office

 

Julian sat in the old Earth nautical themed waiting room, nervously glancing around. Either Telnorri had expensive tastes, or he had found somewhere to buy some very high quality replicas. Gleaming transparent aluminum cases at each corner of the room held an 18^th Century brass binnacle, a bronze sextant, an enormous bronze spy glass, and a 19^th Century dive bell. The seascapes on the walls depicted tall ships fighting dire storms or moored in bustling ports that could have been anywhere from Venice to Cape Cod. It wasn't something he knew enough about for an intelligent guess, and there were no plaques with readily available information beneath or beside them.

 

Telnorri's Bajoran secretary looked up from his quiet work at his desk and said, “Doctor Bashir, the counselor will see you now. Right through the door beside me, second door on the right.”

 

“Thank you,” he said, standing from the comfortable sofa and giving an absent tug to his uniform to straighten it. He walked the narrow, well lit hallway and stepped into a very comfortably appointed room. Unlike the waiting room, the décor was more eclectic, a pleasing mix of old and new arrayed in earth tones. Somehow, the counselor or someone working on his behalf had managed to erase the feeling of being on a space station altogether.

 

Telnorri stood roughly at the center of the room in his Science Blues and smiled warmly at Julian. “I'm glad you could make it, Doctor,” he said. “Please, take a seat on the couch.”

 

Julian took a deep breath and let it out, returning the smile with a little more strain. “Today, I'm just Julian, Counselor,” he said. “I appreciate your agreeing to see me before regular office hours.” He did as he was asked and watched the man take the chair catty corner to him. The rich scent of leather enveloped him, and the seat squeaked beneath him until he was settled.

 

“If you're comfortable with informality, then call me Roberto. I'm happy to be accommodating of busy schedules. I gathered from what you said when you called me that you're not used to being the one in the hot seat, so to speak. Do you have any questions for me before we get started?” the counselor asked.

 

“No. Now that he has resigned himself to the fact that he needs help, Miles speaks highly of you. I know I'm in good hands.” He glanced at the salt and pepper bearded countenance and decided he liked what he saw. Telnorri...Roberto...had an easy manner and kind eyes. “As a doctor, I always face the possibility that no matter what I do, there's a chance that I may lose a patient. It has happened before, more times than I care to think of on a good day. With Miles it was different. I...can't get the image out of my head of that phaser pushed under his chin, and...I can't shake the feeling that it was at least partially my fault.” It ultimately wasn't the unburdening that he needed, but it was a good start. Julian realized as he continued that this was very likely the first session of many to come, and the only question he had left to himself in the end was why he had waited so long.

 

The End



 

Comments

[meteorprime.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... what will happen next? One quick question- Are Garak and Ziyal going to get together in this- PLEASE SAY NO! That was one of my least favourite parts of the series! DX anyway Im glad Jules and miles go that out of the air. Hope fully these sessions will help Julian to deal with his secret-keeping complex better. :3 More soon! Just as wonderful as ever!

M

[dark-sinestra.livejournal.com]

Although I normally don't like to give away anything about future plots, this time I'm willing to make an exception, because I positively HATED how they handled Ziyal and the forced "relationship" with Garak. They will NOT be getting together romantically in this story. Ever. It was icky and wrong. We're slowly approaching the time of more canon departures (aside from the slash elements). That's one of the first.

I know if I were a doctor, I'd need a regular shrink just to stay sane. I think it should be a requirement of the job. At least this way, Julian isn't violating doctor/patient confidentiality. Telnorri knows more about Miles than he does! Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed!

[jgalt44.livejournal.com]

You really picked the perfect time for Miles to make his confession about wanting Julian. I got a little freaked out when I saw the 'you could try,' because I think Julian would do it if Miles insisted. His self-esteem is low enough for him to think it would be the only way to keep his friend. Ultimately, I like to think Miles would come to his senses and not go through with it like he did here. I really wanted Julian to go cuddle with Garak even though he couldn't talk about Miles. Poor Jules needed a freaking cuddle. Ziyal who? *refuses to acknowledge her exisitence.* I will admit to liking Garak freak outing about her and not considering her creepy crush. I'm always so excited when I see a new posting from you. :)

[dark-sinestra.livejournal.com]

I did want Miles' feelings to come to a head sooner or later. This felt like the right timing for it, when he was just that low and desperate. I felt really bad for both of them. :(

I love Ziyal, but not as a romantic interest for Garak. She's going to see some play in the stories. I hope people wind up liking the way it's handled. It's going to be how I WISH they had handled it, not what they did. Bleh. Too creepy.

I always love getting your reviews, too! So thanks for continuing to read and review. Always makes my day!

[blossommorphine.livejournal.com]

My heart just broke for Miless, to have those memories of twenty years of desperation and pain, and to know they aren't real but still affect everything you do, and just when you reach your lowest point, you get a rejection as from your best friend. O'Brien must suffer indeed.

I'm really relieved there will be no horrifying under-aged "romance" between Garak and Ziyal. That was just wrong on a variety of levels. I'm looking forward to how you handle her, to making her more alive and not the 'one in the way' or someone who always needed saving. I was really sad when the Ziyal who wanted to learn how to defend herself and take her life into her own hands went away.

Lastly, I'm glad Julian is talking to someone, because the emotional toll that he is going through would be enough to make anyone break down.

♥

[dark-sinestra.livejournal.com]

That scene was really tough to write. I don't usually get all emo over my own writing, but I felt a little eye stinging going on there. I felt bad for both of them. It was painful and uncomfortable, but it was also time for that to come to a head.

The strong consensus seems to be that what they did with Garak and Ziyal was atrocious. I think it's one major reason Ziyal is usually disliked in G/B fandom, and I think it's a shame, because she had the potential to be such a lovely, vibrant character. I do hope you wind up enjoying what I do with her. I hope that knowing in advance that it's not going to turn icky will allow people to give her a chance.

Julian has needed to talk to someone for a long while now. I was always a little disappointed that we never actually saw Counselor Telnorri on the show. There were several people who could have used him. Maybe Julian can get a bit of a hand on his internal demons now, or...maybe not. Dun dun dun duuunnnnn. Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Man, it would really suck to be O'Brien about now. For lots of reasons. I like the way you played the confession, though; it's a wrenching and bittersweet moment but it really imparts a sense of Miles having hit rock-bottom emotionally, with the only place for him to go being back up. It did need addressing, and I think Julian handled it extremely sympathetically and well, particularly since it's less-than-optimum timing for such things.

I like the glimpse you give us of Keiko, also, and Julian's thoughts about how well the O'Brien's balance each other. It echoes my own POV. I'm discouraged every time I run across fannish opinions of Keiko that are less than charitable; I always really liked their marriage for being so human and down-to-earth and...and authentic, for lack of a better word. Not the storybook greeting-card sort of relationship where things are perfect and happy all the time, but a real marriage with ups and downs and problems and highlights, with adaptation and compromise and a firm resolution to see it all through to the end, that it may have its rough spots but it still makes them happy, etc. I'm kind of rambly and inconcise in my explanation, but you've conveyed that same sense of love and devotion come-what-may, and I'm really glad to see it.

Glad to see Julian finding someone to talk to, also - I'm hopeful it'll be good for him in the long run.

Also, I really like the friendship you've built between Leeta and Garak. I'm kind of hoping she stays in the picture here and there even after she and Julian split - she's got lots to offer both of them without any romantic entanglements, y'know?

MatchmakerGarak is delightful, whatever ulterior motives he may or may not have. And his paranoia about Ziyal's stalking is refreshingly comical, since we know it's unfounded and Leeta is more or less right. I look forward to your version of her and how things will develop and play out differently; she got shafted in so many different ways by canon, so it'll be awesome to see her given a fair shot. ^_^

[dark-sinestra.livejournal.com]

It felt like the right timing for them. It was really uncomfortable. I'm finding in writing (not only in fanfic) that sometimes the uncomfortable moments are the ones that really ring true. It's just being able to sit there in them long enough to let them play out.

I liked Keiko a lot more my second viewing through. I'm not sure why it took me a while to come around. Maybe it was seeing the series from an older perspective. As you said, the marriage seemed very real instead of ideal, and it was so obvious that despite their differences and problems, they loved each other. I enjoyed finally having the chance to write for her a little, since they kept her so absent during the first part of the series, and she rarely interacted with Julian then. She's a really strong character in a quiet way.

They put Julian through so much in the show, piling pressure on top of pressure. I thought he needed somebody to talk to on a more professional level. I get the feeling he would be able to tell a counselor some things he'd never give himself permission to tell a friend. Hopefully, it will be good for him in this series. :-D

I've enjoyed Leeta's and Garak's friendship, too. I actually had to laugh when I read this part of your comment, because it's something that gets addressed a little bit in the next story, a part I had just written yesterday. Then I read this. Great minds? hehe

Garak's matchmaking effort for Odo came so out of the blue on the show. I always wondered, "Who is that woman? Why did Garak think to set her up with Odo? How does he even know her?" And of course it was something that was promptly dropped and never mentioned again. They did that a lot with small plot points, I'm sure because they had so little room and time to cover their bigger ones to their satisfaction. It makes for a rich mining experience when looking for story focus. It's fun to see him having a little fun for a change, and his paranoia about Ziyal was fun to write, too, a definite case where knowing the series helps with enjoying the story. Thanks for the wonderfully in depth review! It's good to see a fellow Keiko fan.

[abd-alscience.livejournal.com]

Before you do "For the Cause", you should read this by BGM: http://gblvr.tripod.com/BGM/Heat.txt

Also I liked the 1st Ziyal best since she seemed to handle best someone who was in a prison camp. The 2nd one was more like a trained assassin, very scary. The 3rd and last one was too naive and stupid to fall in love with or nave any sympathy with.

Great installment.

[dark-sinestra.livejournal.com]

That was a very hot story. *fans self* In more ways than one. :-D Thanks for the link!

Yeah, I liked the first incarnation of Ziyal best, although I thought the third was the prettiest. They never seemed able to settle on who she would be. It was a dropped ball.

I'm glad you enjoyed the fic!

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Finally got around to reading this.

I love it! As usual, you nail the characters so well, even when taking them further than they were seen in the show. How Rom actually has a brain hidden under his goof, that Leeta is no bimbo despite her huge assets (ahem) and how Julian reacts to everything that happens in that episode. Miles is his best friend, so naturally he would be extremely upset about the whole thing. Had time permitted, I would have loved to see some of this in the episode.

Bashir/O'Brien is not my ship, but it was nicely done the way you sort of snuck it in, without making it a big issue.

However, I'm curious about how you intend to develop Garak/Ziyal. Honestly, I don't believe he was that paranoid about her. I'm sure he checked out her background and found that she'd only really known her father for a very short time - not enough to make her a well-honed weapon against him, but certainly enough to resent him from what her father might have told her about him.
I wonder that he doesn't seem to accept her attraction as a possibility at all. Hell, all children know that what is forbidden is that more inticing.

Can't wait to read more!

[dark-sinestra.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I would've liked to see more of Julian's reactions in that episode, too, even though it was primarily about O'Brien. I can't imagine how it would feel coming in and seeing your friend with a "gun" to his head, knowing if you can't talk him down, you're about to witness something that will screw you up for a very long time, if not forever, and lose somebody so important to you.

The O'Brien moment made sense to me where it was and in the context of what was happening, since it was something I had been hinting at a little bit all along. It felt like the right place to give that some resolution. They're not really my ship, either. I saw enough connection between them in the show to want to play around with that a little bit anyway without fully *going there*. Thus, unrequited love. :( Sad.

I dunno. He read pretty paranoid to me in the show, to the point of taking a phaser with him into the holosuite, so I decided to play with that, ratchet it up a little bit. He also never seemed to understand her attraction to him, even after they had spent a good deal of time together. His bad history with Dukat colored a lot of what he was seeing. I hope you wind up enjoying where it goes with those two. It's not an icky place. :D

I'm glad you had a chance to sit back, relax, and read. Thanks so much for the review!